I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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