if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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