her vagine was all disorganized.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize