p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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