so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
