college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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