I wanna bring you to show and tell
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
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