I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
