She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
