i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
