Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
