dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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