Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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