Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
