plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
