we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize