I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
