I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize