You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
