remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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