well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
