He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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