jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
