The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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