I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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