I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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