I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
