she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
soo... how was my night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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