Sry I called you an 8
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
