"it" just moved
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
