We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
