: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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