So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize