I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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