lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
