Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
