you guys were way drunker than both of me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
