I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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