Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it because I queefed?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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