I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
