i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
