YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
