she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize