Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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