how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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