Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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