I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
