I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
