guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize