No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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