Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
