So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
