I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
