i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Quick, to the slutcave!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
