Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
