I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
