Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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