Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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