Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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